| A verdict that will change my life... |
[10 Nov 2007|02:49am] |
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everything - michael buble |
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i have recently been diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis. it is painful. it is taking over my joints. it is a disease. and it is not going away.
and i will probably not be able to have any more children. ever.
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| No, really. It does. |
[25 Sep 2007|05:44pm] |
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Wake up call - Maroon Five |
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Wow.. my life rocks.
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| Thank you, Jesus, Thank you. |
[25 Jun 2007|06:26pm] |
Yay: My son, Josiah Benjamin, was born to me on June 8, at 5:53 a.m. via c-section. He was 8 pounds, 8 ounces, and 23 inches long. (Biig boy, although extremely skinny..he's just really long so the weight is spread out...?)
He has huge feet and hands, and looks exactly like my little brother, Joel (funny, but adorable). He is so sweet and patient, and sleeps so well at night. He hardly ever cries unless you're trying to bathe him or wipe his butt with a cold clean wipe (haha!) but overall, he's a pretty fun little bundle which I am enjoying so much and cannot wait to see what the Lord God has in store for this precious boy. :)
Thank you all for your prayers, cards, emails, etc. during the past few months. The support was incredible, and I am so thankful for friends who provide so much.
The reason I had a C-section is because for some odd reason I was not going into labor although my water broke, so they had to get him out as soon as possible before an infection set-in. The C-section was pretty painful, and it's been a really hard recovery. I was in the hospital for 5 days, and couldn't really hold my own baby for the first few days, which made me very sad. I am somewhat anemic, so I couldn't have an epidural, so I had to be put under completely, so truly, I missed his birth, because when I awoke, I didn't see him until almost 6 hours later. When they pulled him out, the cord was around his neck 3 times, so the Dr said if he'd been born "normally" he'd have died because the ultrasound did not show the cord around his neck, and it would have strangled him. So thank Jesus I ended up having a c-section afterall!!
He's totally worth it. :)
I still don't have any pictures yet...I'm trying to get some from SOMEONE'S camera. I know a million were taken while I was totally zonked on morphene for 2 days.
Again, thank you for your loving kindness, I am grateful to you all.
In Him,
Chara and Josiah
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| bursting at the seams.. |
[27 May 2007|12:57am] |
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 chipper |
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this is getting old real fast.
due date is in 9 days, and my baby probably wont actually be here for another 16 days or more. ah.
i wish he'd just hurry up already. i think he's in denial that he can't stay in there forever.
ill miss him though. its kind of nice knowing he's safe and sound. :)
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[18 May 2007|07:26pm] |
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still fat. no baby news. bored to tears. got a new job though, that's cool. at a law firm. i love it. anyways.. yeah. just posting to say i have nothing to say. :)
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| I could not ask for more. |
[29 Apr 2007|01:06am] |
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cheerful |
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Miss You - Darren Hayes |
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I had my first baby shower last night, and it was amazing. I was blessed with the most incredible gifts which will allow me to take care of my baby in absolute luxery! I have two more baby showers coming up, too, one is after the baby is born, so it will be so much fun having him at the shower!! I can't wait, just 5 more weeks... I'm so tired of being pregnant, it really is a bother. I feel like myself everywhere but my stomach, my belly just feels huge and I can't take it anymore, I miss my abs. :(
I want so much to go for a long jog... or to drink a glass of wine... or to soak in a really hot tub... or to wear a bathing suit... haha! Ah the most simple things are gone..for the time being anyway. And I miss them. It'll all be worth it, I know.
Hurry up, Josiah...hurry up.
I am so blessed. <3
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| Baby Stuff! |
[27 Mar 2007|12:13am] |
Hey, since everyone has been asking what kind of things I need for the baby, I went ahead and made a list of all the things I still don't have..which is a lot of stuff, lol. But anyway...here it is:
Essential Items Still Needed
Bath and Grooming Items:
Baby Shampoo, Wash, and Lotion
Diaper Rash Cream
Baby Bath Sponge
Nail Clippers
Baby comb/scalp brush
Breast Cream
Breast Pads – (Disposable)
Diapers – (Pampers Swaddlers preferred, Size N)
Diaper Wipes – (Pampers, Sensitive Hypo-allergenic preferred)
Infant Pain Reliever/Fever Reducer
Feeding Items:
Bottles – (Playtex Ventaire preferred)
Baby Formula – (Enfamil powder preferred)
Breast-Milk Storage Containers
Bottle/Nipple cleansing brush
Bibs
Bedding Items:
Receiving Blankets
Waterproof Mattress Pad (Standard Crib Size)
Crib Sheets (1-2 sets, white or baby blue preferred)
Fleece or Knit blanket
Cradle Bedding (light blankets and sheet sets)
Positional sleeper pillow for baby (On Registry at Target)
Crib Mattress Padding set (On Registry at Target)
Baby Gear:
Car Seat (Infant to Toddler converting preferred)
Stroller
Clothing Items:
Body/Play Suites
Cotton Sleepers
Cotton Gowns
Hats/Caps
New Born Mittens
Socks (White preferred)
Additional Items:
Diaper Genie (On Registry at Target)
Baby Bedtime Johnson’s Bath Wash, Shampoo, and Lotion (Lavender Set)
Baby clothes hangers
Dress-up clothes for baby
Dreft laundry detergent
Registry Items at www.Target.com – Search Chara Nelson
Money towards Items:
Baby Carrier
Baby Sling
Nursing Bra
(These are items I would prefer to try-on and purchase on my own, so any money towards these items is greatly appreciated! These items run anywhere from $30.00-$50.00 per item.)
*Items I already have:
Hooded towels
Wash cloths
Burp cloths
Changing pads
Crib
Cradle
Crib bedding (bumper, dust ruffle, quilt, 1 sheet set)
Breast Pump
Diaper Bag
Bounce Play Seat
Baby swing
Rocking Chair/Glider
Note: Items on this list are things I still need. The nursery theme is a vintage baby blue, white, and brown, with a vintage animal theme, (monkeys, lions, sheep, teddy bears, etc.). Items for bedding are preferred to be baby blue or white.
*The items I have registered for at Target are only brand preferences and/or theme preferences, and do not have to be the same or even purchased at Target.
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| If only get well cards did the trick.. |
[13 Feb 2007|02:37pm] |
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I have absolutely nothing to say. I've been so sick as of these past 5 days, as well as the last two months of on-off sickness, I'm overwhelmed with it all. I'm tired of medicine, sleeplessness, it's causing an anxiety I have never known. ah. Other than the ear aches, 48-hour fever, body aches, coughing up blood, constipation, bloody noses, etc., life has been pretty peaceful. I'm just ready to walk again. I MUST walk again. And sleep again. And breathe again. Ahh.. I must get well soon.
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| It's true I think.. |
[07 Feb 2007|08:44pm] |
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I irrationally love Whitney Jay. :)
Haha. xo
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| I love Josiah Benjamin. :) |
[27 Jan 2007|03:16pm] |
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none. |
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Bad news: Back on bed rest.
Dear Lord Jesus, please don't take my baby.
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| The shortest verse in the entire Bible: "Jesus Wept." |
[25 Jan 2007|01:05am] |
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mood |
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 rejuvenated |
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Just a quick update on the things mentioned in my previous post:
Things went well at the "meeting" we had. Although, needless to say, I cried my eyes out. As I said I would. ::sigh::
I had my first appointment with my new Dr. She's really awesome and I know she'll take care of me, and I'm happy to finally have some REAL medical attention.
The Dr. did a 3D ultrasound, so I got to see my baby's face as if it were a regular camera-taken picture, it was so cool. He's really pretty and has a button nose. I saw his toes wiggle, it was adorable. And he has pretty lips, too. But- he's already 1 lb., so he's above average already in size, meaning he'll probably be 9lbs by birth, (or so predicts the Dr.) so I may end up having a c-section, which really scares me. I took a nap today, and the entire time I was falling asleep I kept praying, "Please God, take care of me and my baby, don't let them cut me open. Please God take care of me and my baby, don't let them cut me open. Please God, take care of me and my baby..." over and over. I'm too scared to think of them cutting me open. It's a frightening thought. :( I want SO much to deliver naturally, it would be such an amazing experience. And it's how God made women to deliver, I want to be able to so badly. hmm
Well good night, I am exhausted. Too much going on for one girl's day. xo
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| I believe God uses sin to remind us, we are His. |
[21 Jan 2007|08:56pm] |
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Megan Pierson had her baby this afternoon! It's a girl, 7 lbs. 4oz., 22 inches. I hear she's beautiful and quite peaceful. I can't wait to meet her, I'm so excited. I was pacing all day waiting for updates. I'm not sure of her name yet, it was debated but not clarified to my knowledge.
So I'm on this diabetic diet, no sugar, low carbs, no caffeine. It's killing me. I'm going to keep with it until the baby is born, so hopefully to avoid gestational diabetes and a fat baby. I'd love a 7-8 pound baby, but seeing as my mom had 9-10 pound babies, I will need to be more careful since my genes are probably playing cards against me.
I'm painting my room baby blue and working towards getting the baby furniture all gathered and figured out. I also found an awesome navy blue gingham crib/nursery set from Walmart, so I'm going to go with a Navy Blue and Baby Blue theme with some red and yellow. I'm turning my bedroom into a more masculine place to live, so my son won't be bothered that he has to share a room with his madre. :)
I visited First Presbyterian Church in Niceville today, I went with Sam and our friend John Williams to see our friends' the Linn's as their granddaughter was baptized. It was an awesome time. The sermon was extremely inspiring, I really REALLY liked it a lot. The pastor emphasized that most people think in the mindset that we are supposed to do God's work and hope He's watching us, but instead, we're supposed to focus on the idea that we are to join God in doing His work THROUGH us, WITH us. And instead of thinking, "I need to do this FOR God," we should be thinking, "I hope I can do this WITH God." It's really a good idea that inspired me, especially in life decisions I have to make at this point in my life. I want to live life for Christ, and be an example to others, but I feel I'm constantly wondering if God notices or hears me, when instead, I should be focusing on whether God is doing this WITH me and if it is what God wants US (He and I) to be doing together. Maybe that doesn't make sense to some people, but it really reached home with me.
Afterward, I was looking up some things in my Bible, and I noticed it says, "John, the brother of Jesus," and then, "Jude, the brother of John." Does that mean Jude wasn't Mary's child, and John was? I'm confused.
So tomorrow night, my dad and I are meeting with my elders and pastor to discuss the past mistakes I've made, as well as the future plans I need to make. It will be beneficial for sure, I'm just nervous about it because everything is still so fresh and emotional and I'm sure I will cry the entire time, and when I cry, I can't really get much off my tongue. It'll be hard to discuss all the mess my sin has caused, but it is encouraging that they care enough to help guide me to a better future. I really feel like perhaps in a way, they will be a father and husband to me and my child, along with my own dad, who is excellent may I say. :)
But anyways, pray for me please. I'm so nervous about tomorrow night. So nervous. I need peace about it all.
I started my job at Ruby Tuesdays, it's fun and easy, seems to be so far. A lot of heavy lifting, the plates or hot and the food is heavy. Things are really rushed and stuff gets crazy. The people I work with aren't Christians, so that's hard. Their language is dirty and they make comments that I avoid by smiling and turning around or walking away, or trying to just politely laugh at rude jokes and leaving the scene. I don't fit in and I don't expect to, I don't want to actually, ha ha. I just want to make some money for my new baby. :)
Well, I will go to bed now and sleep well. I'm exhausted. I miss Callie, I haven't seen her in ages. And I haven't spent enough time with Haley, perhaps I should call her tonight.
Good night, xo
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| It's a boy! |
[16 Jan 2007|10:28pm] |
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So I found out today that I'm having a boy! I'm sooo super excited. His name is Josiah Benjamin.
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| Let he who has a voice, rejoice! :) |
[14 Jan 2007|02:23pm] |
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Nothing that I have is truly mine - Dido |
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Spending time with Megan this week has taught me so much about accepting the life situation I'm facing. I have been really nervous about becoming a mom and having the responsibility of a child, and not just diaper changing and stuff, but the idea of watching over his/her soul and making sure s/he understands the depth of Jesus Christ, it's a really big responsibility, and at first, for a while, I've doubted myself in being able to do it. And then I see Megan, and I see how peaceful she is about her new baby and how she lives with such confidence that she can do it, no matter what her situation is. That's inspiring to me, and I really hope that from spending time with her I can feel more at peace about everything. She's so ready for this baby..she has all the hospital items laid out for the first signs of labor, everything is pink and ruffly everywhere you look in the living room.. it's precious. :) I'm not really ready materially either. I keep worrying about diapers and clothes for the baby, but then I realize, all that will be there when I need it, the biggest thing is preparing my heart and mind for this adventure, y'know? It's like, I know how to change diapers and how to put a baby to bed, how to feed a baby and how to keep them at peace, but how do you explain to a child the depth of life in a Christian world view? It's something I've grown up with and understand, but how do I put it into words for a child to understand?
I had considered adoption for a little while..something my mom suggested, but I don't think that would be right. I believe God is the author of life, and there is a reason He wants me to have this child, and I think it will provide incredible stability to my life and to the struggles I've faced growing up as a stupid teenager. I'm entering adulthood and it's a bit odd to realize it, but I think I can do it. I know I can do it, because I HAVE to do it. I love my baby, I really do. Every time I feel him/her swirl around in my belly it makes me want to see what he or she will look like, what color will their eyes be? What will the final name be? Is it a boy or a girl? Hmm.. :)
I find out on Tuesday if its a boy or a girl. I'll be perfectly content with either! My mom and Callie Grote are going with me to my appointment. It's been really awesome having Haley and Callie go to my appointments with me when my mom isn't able to go. It will def be an exciting visit. I hope..? (I still worry about them saying something like, "oh your baby has this rare disease..")
I am so content with this idea. It's all been churning in my head. I feel like I'm finally at peace about my life and everything that's happened. I had a really hard holiday, it was very depressing and some one very dear to me betrayed me in a very hard way to handle. But in ways I feel I deserve it, but in other ways, I feel like no one deserves that, and if anyone did, why would I ever apologize to someone I'd hurt? Because no one deserves to be treated disrespectfully, which is why I try so hard to make it right with those I've hurt. I try at least, I'm sure I could do better most days, and it's not always accepted, but God knows and sees the heart, let Him judge. "He whoever stands without sin, let him cast the first stone." Amen.
I was so happy to have been able to make it to church today. I've been really sick with cold/flu-symptoms for the past two months, but I'm doing so much better and am ready to return to work.
I got a new job at Ruby Tuesdays in Niceville as a server and a hostess. I'll be switching off throughout the week. It should be fun and make some extra cash for all the things my baby will need!
Anyways...I'm really bored today, as you can see. I don't know why I write in this journal anymore, I don't think anyone really does livejournal anymore, everyone has myspace. But I write this more for myself, its like getting it off my chest and I can move on and leave it to the wayside. But then those who wish to read it may, for I have nothing to hide. It's my life and it does not belong to me. It's kind of exciting to think my life isn't mine anymore, it's not even about me anymore, it's about a little person who will call me Mommy. :)
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[28 Dec 2006|02:11pm] |
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happy birthday to me.
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| Weakened by their eyes.. |
[05 Dec 2006|07:47pm] |
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mood |
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 disappointed |
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none. |
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So since I just added a Minor to my degree, my graduation date has been push back an entire year and a half. So now I won't graduate until May of 2010. And although thats only 3.5 years away, it sounds like forever. Now instead of just a BA in English Liberal Arts, I'll have a Minor in Education along with that. It'll be worth it, I know. It's just disheartening when it feels so far away, and so much is going wrong these days, I wonder if I'll even live that long...
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| missing all my old friends |
[15 Feb 2006|09:41am] |
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mood |
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 contemplative |
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music |
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track 17 on a burned CD |
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yet another great valentines day.
two years in a row. wow. what did i do so great to deserve such?
haha... here, have a heart. *heart handed to you*
Love,
Chara.
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wheresmypearls's journal
needy.